Teenage Dramas,

There Are Millions Of People In This world, But In The end It All Comes Down To One

(Aisha) (jaymes) (jenn) (cha) (naida) (kristian) (pabze) (jenniebobennie)

2:05 AM
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wishes can come true. Sunday 31st January 2O1O

Today ill be mostly blogging about whats been going on in the past few days.
Well guessss what ?! his stayingggggg ! xD it was all so surprisingg but idc his staying and thats all that counts. I dont know how he talked his parents into staying but it worked though there are a few consequences to deal with like : cant go out as much, dont come home late, quit s***ing and he has to do his hsc. Its a big change but ill survive. I'll only see him probs once a week or so but its better than nothing right ?

I'd never thought that my wish would come true, i guess if you really wanted something to happen and you keep wishing for it maybe it'll just come true. All the time we had left and all those nights on the phone you would be like "11:11 make a wish" everytime you said that i would wish for you to stay. But until that one night you asked what i wished for, i didnt want to tell you cos wishes dont come true if you tell someone but you made and i didnt think there was a chance for you to stay anyways so i just told you and well it came true :)

We have all these stupid arguments about love and our relationship but i guess it just shows how much we need eachother. You've become so protective all of a sudden now i can only do limited things at certain times, talk to certain people, who i go out with and i MUST tell him where i go. Its okay actually i dont mind, id do anything for you :)


LOL i still rembr the night of his farewell, its no use now it was all for nothing ahahah but it was fun dressing up that night xD found a white dress last minute at the city so it was good. Got ready at abo jens house BUT she didnt even end up coming that night :@ oh wells there are plenty more fun nights to come later on :) But you better come :@ LOL
The night was okay, had alot of karaoke though and not enough food AHAHHAA ended up eating at hungry jacks after .sigh.








Well to think back on the school holidays, it was pretty good. Spent alot of time with my boyfriend & friends, was hardley at home LOL usally slept at abo jen's house and yeah. mmm .. shes going through such a hard time atm but dw babes his coming soon its only days now and then you can hold him in your arms again. Stay strong. Shes been through so much, i look up to this girl. I cant imagine what shes going through and to think i would have been going through something similar.. best of luck to this boobnut :)

Anyways. So friday got back to school, didnt want to go back but the good side to it was i got to see friends and my bestfriend aisha xD havent seen her in soooo long D: She was mostly in canberra but when she came back to sydney for abit i couldnt really go out with her :( was trying to stay with the bf for as long as possible while he was here. But things have changed thank god his not going anywhere and so is she so yeah we can hang out again :D i missed her asss man ! LOL

Aisha is going through so much too. As you might see on some of my previous blogs her ex just dumped her with no explanation for some other girl. He can go eat shit cos i seriously dont know how someone can just so that, not even one explanation...she had to find out herself by looking at his fb and seeing someone else on his page saying "in a relationship with ...." i dont know what happened with use, i dont know why he couldnt make an effort on dealing with this properly but he is seriously one low life.


wow wrote alot today lols & so botherd putting pictures. xD




8:46 PM
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O3days, Wednesday 27th January 2O1O

Theres this movie coming out soonish. Valentines Day but its not coming out for a while now but they've already released the trailer so thats kinda gay. Its starring alot of famous actors like Taylor lautner his so sexy ;) ahahah. & other big names. They say its kinda of like Love Actually cos its about people in love, making love, out of love stuff like that.

Whats gay is that valentines day is coming up.. im starting to really hate valentines day cos i never really seem to have a bf or wtvr during that time. Its usally later on in the year. & now that my bf is leaving i wont have a valentine..again. But oh wells i guess valentines not all about couples..
hm.. Maybe ill get a valentine who knows LOL but just friends nothing more :)

Schools coming up soon, reall soon just in a couple of days. And before i know it im back doing work all day. But its good i have something to kinda keep my mind off things for a while..
Still need to buy school stuff -books, pens, a bag. urgh.. so much to buy and donmt have much time.

takcare, xx



7:50 PM
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O4days, Tuesday 26th January 2O1O

I dont know how long this blog will be so yeah.
So from eight it went down to four, its all going so fast i really cant keep up and to be honest it hasn't really fully sunk in that his leaving theres still that 1% hope in me that he'll stay, stay with me. Time is running out and before you know it his gone..forever and i can no longer call him mine.

Most of the time now our conversations get so intense and deep. It gets worse everyday cos we both know that time is ticking. And with 4 days to go im going to hardly see you cos you'll be with family etc. Next time i see you will probs be the last time...thats if i do see you.

Yeah so today i had one of those boring days at home... i would just sit at home think all day cos theres nothing else better to do and things just pop into my mind. Finally home though its been like 2 or 3 days so yeah. I try my best not to think about it and just think about other stuff but it never really seems so work, something always just pops into my head. I just want everything to be fine again but it wont.

So not a while ago i had a talk with the bf. And it surprised me that he said "i was the one" i never thought he would actually say something like that and let alone to me it was a huge surprise. I really cant find a way to belive you but idk and i hope you understand why. I just think that you might think im the one but im not, im the first person you actually really "love" that doesnt mean im the one i guess. You'll find another ..

He says im the one cos his never had any feelings for someone as much as he has for me, well that bcos im the first. Him just throwing that around makes it seem like nothing but idk maybe he means it ? . Its something you shouldnt be saying when you dont know of it for sure. Im sure you'll find another and as hard as its going to be im sure you'll fall in love again. While your there so many things can happen so whatever happens, happens no one can stop it.
I doubt that your even going to come back in 2 years. You'll have fun there, enjoy it more and maybe even find someone so that extends your stay.


takcare, xx

4:49 AM
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O8days, Friday 21st January 2O1O

So this is just going to be a short quick blog. I realise that all my blogs now are so depressing and just so sad..gay oh wells.

I hate this is hate it so much i dont want to lose you i want to be able to hold your hand, kiss you, laugh with you etc..i just cant take it i hate this so much theres so much pain into it this, i dont think its explainable. It tears me apart more and more on how this will end, its ending too soon we have so much ahead of us but it just has to end.
I dont like being home these days for alot of reasons one is cos i end up crying some how..thinking. Its going to be so hard without you i really dont know how im going to get through this or will i ever. I will never we able to call you mine again..your gone forever. Time is running out and it diggs me in every second of every minute, of everyday of my life. Everything is just going so fast and i cant keep up, its werid that we still kinda manage even though its going to hit rock bottom for us, we still find the time to be happy etc.
Anyways so iv got about 8 days with him left, it sounds so small well it is :(

So its almost Sunday and Sunday is like your farewell party i guess. Im excited cos i love dressing up LOL but then again it makes it so official and soon that your leaving..but idk anyways so i need some more happyness into my blogs cos there so dull and depressing ahaha but idk ill try. Today went to parra to see if i could find a dress for sunday but just ended up buyging a top :L so yeah going to try and look for a dress tmrw and hopefully find one.


takecare, xx

7:37 PM
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17days.

So i havent blogged in ages i think just over a months now. Well dont really know what i should talk about, its kinda hard for me to express my feelings & put it into words but ill try.

17 days left.. just seem so close now and everyday is a day closer to him leaving. Yeah so bfs still leaving and i still cant do anything about it but just sit and wait till that day comes. But i decided to make the most of it we both have. I spend most of the days with him and try to be together as much as possible but that still wont stop the pain its causing, in a way i guess its worth it - the pain cos though i know im going to lose him i still want to be with him. His a part of me and always will be ..i know. I know thats kinda stupid to say for someone so young and blah blah blah i dont know what im talking about but i do and i love him thats all that counts so no one should be judging.

Even though were still together we still have our silly arguments i guess but now iv started to realise that they are caused so easily now but oh wells we end up making it through the end, we always do xD & i know for a fact is that even though we fight and argue it makes us stronger and pulls us closer together.

We both know its going to end but were still together. Some people say its better to break it off bcos youll fall for eachother more and more its true though you probley fall for eachother more but wouldnt you want to spend your last few weeks or month with him then just lieing around all depressed when you could just still be with him ? yeah i know it. i would and i am cos though its going to end you just have to deal with it - youll only have the good memories left with you. Its killing me inside and i know its killing him too but we've just got to make this work.

I dont know whats going to happen when he leaves, i dont know how ill react, how im going to get through it... i dont know alot of things but what i know for sure is that im going to be missing him - every second im without him, i dont know what im going to do without him.. how ill get through it i cant even cope with the fact that i've only got days spend with him now. The only thing thats pulling me together is him being here by my side. Its just as hard enough dealing with it knowing that its going to end but idk im just all over the place its so hard knowing the person you love is going for good, knowing that his not coming back, knowing that you cant have him with you anymore.

Every time i think about it or even to hear about it just tears me apart more, i get all teary.
It feels like we cant be together like theres always something thats pulling us away..we've been through too much for it to just end like this. This time and just when everything was going great..boom this happens but this time we cant fix it, this time we just cant be together cos of the distance. We all know that a long distance relationship never works cos something always happens. So we both decided that when he leaves were officially ... over
Youll always be in my heart, youll always have a piece of it, even when i do find someone else in the future youll always have a piece of it. You were that first special someone that i fell in love with that made me feel special in so many ways. Even at hard times we got through, in a way those fights were good cos it shows how much we cared and how much we loved eachother, we would care enough to ask questions and sometimes it would turn into an argument for miss-understanding something.

This is all i can write about right now its the best i can do but it doesnt really explain how i feel but yeah.


takcare, xo

2:17 AM
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blank, Thursday 17th December 2009

I hate how things are going cos its just so much pain nothing has changed his still going and well theres nothing anyone can do about it. It just hurts that it has to end like this. I know we had a long way to go i could see my self with you. But unfortunatly its going to end.



3:56 AM
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werid feelings, Tuesday 8th December 2009

So what i was talking about yday in my other blogs was all me just getting all stupid or just pmsing =s but it was nothing i should of been worring about cos that feeling i had before passed, it was nothing so i guess it was normall. Nothing to worry about cos i felt that spark again just being with you :) i dont know what happend yday but maybe it was bcos i didnt see you all weeknd like i normally do + when i did see you we didnt even talk and just saw you for like 5mins so yeah. So that just proves that im missing you every second im without you..

Im fine now everything is the same for me but i just have this question im so tempted to ask you so badly so maybe i will later on but besides that im fine now. I just hope the answer isnt bad well hoping, all i want it the truth even though it might hurt its better than lieing cos that just hurts 10x more..

I see some of the friends i have cry over guys and every time i see them and the answer is always about a guy i used to always say " omg thats so stupid his a guy theres plenty of fish in the sea his not good enough " and shit like that. But i didnt know what it was like to be in there position and now that iv had i get it now, i get how they feel. And the feeling sucks cos all the tears just mean how much they mean to someone plus you cant help but cry your emotions out.
Its worse if the guy just leaves without a word ... like someone i know :@



takecare, xx

2:21 AM
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part 2 - 71209

well im really bored and i have nothing else to do so i just decided to blog again .. not much to really write about cos nothing seems to be on my mind but what i wrote before.

Im starting to learn to hide things now to not show people what i feel inside, just hide it. Cos its probs mostly non-sence and just my mind getting paranoid =S but idk sometimes it does get srss..
Well i know you should tell the person when you do have something on your mind to help you get though it, answer your questions if they can and just be there for youu etc . most of the time its easy for me to do that but somehow its starting to change im starting hide my feelings more not show it... and i know thats not a good sign =/

it sucks how you cant change the past, whats done is done and thats it. But it also sucks how it can really afect a relationship hard even though its the past and your commited to this one cos your starting fresh and i know for a fact its not just me thinking this its also you, you cant get it out of your head and i know you still think about her. Cos deep down it hurts inside and i just want it to heel i want it to heel so it goes away for good, thats one side of it but the other would never go away cos its in my head but theres always a possibility that even though its stuck in my head it wont affect me as much as it usally does... just see how it goes.

Why is this all happening again T_T it just hurts to even think about it .
i know i shouldnt be but little things that happens or i see that have something to do with what happend just gets me so hurt like my heart just gets torn again ....

2:55 AM
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and its happening again .. - 71209

so theres been alot going on in my mind and out of it. Plenty so im gnna try let it all out by blogging ,hopefully i can let it all out cos there is alot to say, the good and especially the bad.

L O V E ♥
Love is going well but today it just hit me but before i get into that i just want to say that im glad that we've made it this far cos the past was just hell, it didnt make any sence. So the "fight" that happend last night was just really werid though it got really bad. You would just swear and i told you i dont know like it but you still continue, i know that its just you and its the way you reacts to things but i really dont like it especially when you call me a b***h even if your joking or not i dont like it cos since your not a girl its diffrntt. The fight was just werid we were just going off and swearing at eachother .. our fights havent gone that far but untill a couple of days ago it had so we were arguing and saying shit but in the end we ended up laughing pretty hard actually and for a fight with so much tension it was just too werid. Well i guess its bcos of all theese pointless fights we've had we new that the fight was so pointless that it made us laugh, it was just stupid but it happend. Anyways so as i was saying before about what hit me was that today in school...
it hit me, what jenn said. Im not going to say what she said but id never thought of it to happen and its got me scared but its possible very possible and by that its got me thinking so much and so negativly its what im afraid of the most... & now what to do ?

F R I E N D S ★
so theres been people coming in and out into school lately but iv been talking to this new girl at school, well not really new cos she came like at the start of the term. Anyways we were talking today and she said that she had a bf now i was full oh wow really how cute. She goes it was just recent so i askd her oh yeah so whats your date. And then she goes 4/12/09 i was like huh ==
rofl it was so werid and shocking cos that makes her the third girl with the same date in the same year but with her it isnt as werid cos this other chick in my grade has the same date as me and got askd out around the same time 7ish. So that was just like wtf O_O
anyways she was telling me what she done for him ; he gave her this ring, he took a photo of his ring and it was in between the book pages and with the shadow the ring made a love heart .. soo fkn cuteee i was just like AWWWWW ! and he alos gave her this math equation and the answer was there date 4129 that sooo fkn cutee ! ahahas but she didnt realise after a while. But thats so cute lols his so botherd too, wonder how long it took him to make that LOL
wish them all the best :)


S C H O O L ✎
Schools still the same but had all my yearlys. I got my drama mark today and well it was kinda of dissapointing but it was still good and i got a high rank :) came 3rd and got 18/20 for my performance but i came 1st last semester so i dropped.. but i didnt have a chance to do the drama performance cos half my group and the class got suspended so the teacher just passed everyone. The two people that were above me were the people that got to do the performance but only one group got to do it so yeah sucks, could of like came first again. Though it might of alos been the way me and jenn would bitch about him i think he herd us though ... LOL but yeah anyways theres always next year .
Glad schools almost over last week of school for me and the year too ! almost christmas and next thing you know its new years xD


So i think i got most of it out well for now atleast.
Cant really be botherd typing and soo tierd...


takecare, xx


12:34 AM
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- 51209

ARRRGGGGHHHHHHH !!!! fuckkk :@
soo mad atm.

5:55 AM
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so its sorted - 21209

This argument wasnt even suppose to turn out this big or even into an argument but it did, this time i know its nothing but i just over reacted i guess. You mean alot to me thats prob why i get to insecure and agro etc ..

so last night we had another argument, even though it was nothing you know i get jealous and well frustrated easily. It got to a point were i was just so mad, stuff just started to come out of my mouth cos i was that mad i couldnt take it soi just said things like "yeah whatever do what you want i dont care, just do whatever" you know i say stupid stuff like that when im mad.. it got to a point were i just didnt even want to talk to you or be on the phone with you, so i got off. couldnt sleep though slept at like 230-3ishand it kills me inside that supid things happen like this... and for some reason stupid fights like this get me so teary .. thats probs were all the anger went turned into tears.

Were just both stubborn, and i admit it now >_> and i know that i can just be so stubborn that its annoying >_> . Today i was being really stubborn i was making you pay.. sorry babe
In ways it proves to me that you would never give up on us <3
but nothing i said i ment...i did want you to hold me etc .. i love it lols yeah i love being with you cos your the one i chose and want to be with, no one else but you babe =]
so for the record i didnt mean any of those things i said about going away lol.

I know it sounds bad and it might be but what if you did go ..anything could of happend. i belive you on what you said today, you wont go and GOOD (Y) i never wanted you to go anyways let alone p***.
I'll keep my word on what i said today too , i wont go... miss out on all the fun you know ..lol
but why go when i can have more fun with you ;) LMAO .

everytime im with you i learn something new about you
to understand you more and more ...
im glad im with you
i wouldnt dream of being with anyone else but you cos
baby its just you and me.

takecare, xx

2:29 AM
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A better day - 251109

So we talked it out..again but i guess this time i was more srs i needed to clear my head out. I only suggested that maybe we should take some time off and some space so you could think about what you want cos before it seemed like you didnt even want to be in this relationship but its good that we talked it out. I really didnt even want to mention it but i had to since you wont open up to me, you dont tell me how you feel so it leaves me guessing. Thats fine now i guess cos your just as afraid as i am on giving in, scared that you might give in too much that itll hert in the end.

Dont worry im not going anywhere i love you and i dont want anyone else but you. I love you for who you are not what other people want you to be, your different to all the others and thats one of the things i love about you. I dont want you to change one bit, just be your self. Even when you can be the biggest dickhead and a child your just you and when i can be really stubborn (yes i admit it) and get really mad you just end up putting a smile on my face =]



2:50 AM
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Is it all falling apart ..One small thing into something big - 241109

10:29 PM
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confused - 161109

So its been a while since iv blogged and well as always something has to happen, well theres always something going on i guess. I usally blog now when i have something on my mind and i just have to let it out in a way. So ill probably just blog when i have something on my mind from now on. Have 3more exams this week and then i got a few assignments after that i should be free =]] Im just gnna get straight to it.

Right now i dont know how i feel, confused i guess & worried in a way.
Im not being paranoid cos i askd someone my self and well they said im not but i just dont know what to do cos maybe it shouldnt be something i should be worrying about but still i cant help what i feel.

you say its nothing but is it really? you might just not see it the way i do ..

Iv mentiond it but you said that its nothing and that i should worry aboutt but it keeps coming by .. im just afaid of loosing you ...again, i cant go through that much pain again. We've gone though so much and its going so well for it to start falling apart now. But is it really going well for you ? am i just blind to see that its not ?
idk. With what im seeing youve just got me soo confused and i dont know what to do about it ..
should i mention it again ? maybe not cos id just make a fool out of my self cos iv mentiond it quite a few times now.

I dont know what to do, its better ifi say something about it but i feel foolish if i do..
Im a very shy person in a way i guess, even though i know i can get very loud LOL .
arghhh ! i think that this is truley killing me ...

__

Well since last weekend was just a tragedy apart from seeing my boyfriend everything was just a disaster. Was on our way to sub but something had to happen. Then on top of that couples were fighting and things wernt going as planned... Firday 13th .

Its not like schools getting any better, had my geo yearly today and well that didnt go to well but i know if i studied more i would of done better.





takecare, xx





1:34 AM
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- Sunday 081109

Right now currently waiting for jenn to finish showering after that im gnna go home get changed etc then go buy shorts :)
mmm well its raining outside and its pretty cold outside, weather has been really werid lately.

Well what can i say i hate us fighting, we've been fighting alot lately but idk.
If you dont want me to do it just say so you have a say on what i do, i want to know what you think otherwise i wouldnt even be telling you cos i wont care ill just do whatever but i do care thats why i ask. And then you give me answers that i dont get and actually isnt really a proper answer cos all you said was "do whatever" does that really mean you dont care on what i do and when ? you really dont care ? I ask you so i can get your opinion and if you would let me do it, not just so i can annoy you, its cos i want to know from you but you just give me answers that i cant take.
Better now than later right ?

You dont tell me how you feel and with that i wont know what your thinking so you just leave me guessing. I hate guessing. Just tell me how you feel, i dont want to end up like those other couples. Were more differnt than others. But idk you just cant open up to me i guess, might just take time ..

__

Last night went city then had a bbq, latest and most delayed bbq iv ever had ..
started at like 11 .. what is that lmao .
Full rushing at the city.. luckly there was woolies right next to townhall station so just got the meat there then yeahh .
Food was yuk though, feel kinda sick lols.


ehhh school tmrwww. this week all i have to be doing is STUDY ! STUDY ! STUDY ! + do my assignments not looking forward to any of this ..

takecare, xx

4:03 PM
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HAPPY ONE MONTH BABE ! ily O4 Octoberrr. - 041109

Havent blogged in a really really long time just never botherd and plus since iv got my yearlys and shit coming up like next week iv got to studyy D: never reallystudy but since iv got such a demanding bf :L full makes you study ... ahaha well alot has been happening every now and then.

Today is one month <3
im glad that it workd this time round cos the past has not been so great but iv decided to put the past behind and look ahead into the future cos thats all i should be worrying about.

It doesnt seem long but what started off as a simple crush, grew to something id never imagined it to be ♥

ahah made that upp (H) good aye LOOOL .

school school school !
thats all im stressing about, got all theese exams and have to studddy ! i cant study i know its werid but i cant. I find it pretty hard actually cos you just sit down have all theese books out and read + write... that is so boring. But i have to push my self and study get things through my head lol, thats a challenge and a challange i should be looking forward too. not really but yeah .
Just handed in my science assignment today and i fulll had to do ittt so thats why i got jens hellp lmao but yyeahh hopefully ill get good makrs for this, i need it ! LOL

Had a normall day today but it was like soooooo cold compared to yday and last night. It was so hott at school and since i go to a cheap as school that cant afford aircons or anything it makes it worse. Got a tan just like walking homeee, deicded to stay at aishas for abit till the sun goes down lol good thing its day light savings so yeahh got home around 6ish that day.

Anyways today was soo cold but just like took jens jumper :L
today was a pretty good day, done all my work :D

• science - handed in assignment, bludged the lesson
• english - read read read !
• commerce - work from the textbook. Pluss got our old teacher baack ! finally.
• Maths - got a sub, man she was the biggest bitchh full like to uss "use girls better be quiet im not in the mood. If i even hear use breath loud ill send you out" O_O farr what is that..
• Drama - have this finall act to do and doing it with differnt people this time and had to design costumes..

After that went and saw the bf ;)






well have i ever mentioned anyone in my blog named AISHA ? well i problleey have but anyways .. SHES A RETARD AND WISHES THAT SHE IS AS COOL AS ME AND I KNOW YOUR READING THIS NOW BUT ID THOUGHT ID JUST SAY THIS :) ahah even when you have your "moments" i still love youu bestieee xD



takecare, xx

2:32 AM
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- Saturday 251009

Well right now at jens ( abo sister ) house. BORED ! LOL
Right now; jen & tram are sleeping, jools quad and i are still awake .

woke up at like 2:30 then around 6ish went to jens and yeah still here . Arghhhh, feel so dogg atm was suppose to go a friends housee . buut nws make it up to them =]] need to catch up anyways .. havent seen them i agesss .


hmm .. tmrw ? well might go watch final destination =D
but then wnna go to mells and play DDR :L
so yeahh ..

thats it for today its just gnna be short =]]


takecare, xx




6:03 AM
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- Friday 231009

At home this friday night :)
atm i am pretty bored but ill survive LOL . just on mssn & listening to mussiccc .

So today went school, just another boring day .
hmm .. plans for this weeknd ? might go to a friends house tmrw then yeah what ever happens after that happens.



♪ill never go - erik santos




takecare, xx

4:43 AM
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Confessions - Thursday 221009

L O V E ♥
Im afraid of whats going to happen, afraid that ill fall for you too much and just end up getting hurt in the end cos each and every day i fall for you more and more .. afraid of love you could say .. there i said it i am. I found it and now im afriad of it. Im glad i found it and im glad that its with someone special but im just afraid. Love has so many meanings to it, thats probley why its so hard to find so when you think you have it or know you have it grab on to it and dont let go.

F R I E N D S ★
Friends are hard to find these days specially when it comes to trust. Wasnt it easier when we were all young and just makes friends so quick. Its hard to tell if there really actually your friend or just using you for a particular purpose. Its hard to know if one of your friends will ever back stab you, say shit about you etc .. when you find out that one of them has it just makes it harder to trust other people if there not going to say anything, think anything of you. We all have our ups and downs but then again if there really a true friend they would work things out, if use were really friends in the first place he/she will never back out on you.

F A M I L Y☻
Well i cant complain much .. i have my ups and downs with them but at the end of everyday were just all family. We all have our arguments and sometimes they get really out of hand where you just want screem your head off. But sometimes it really pisses me off, i dont know if they can see what they done wrong in the end but they think that there right but there really not. And they just take it out on you. Its normall i guess, no ones perfect, every family has there ups and downs. Its life.

S C H O O L ✎
Well this is term 4 , this year has gone so fast and so many things have happend. Have all my yearlys coming up in a few weeks D:
ehh.. i guess i should be studying right ? yeah i kinda have to or else ahaha yeah .. This term theres only about eight and half weeks of school. Gnna go so quick xD
well this year was okay i guess, i rekon i did better this year than the last. Thats what i was aiming for :) But next year im planning to actually do good, try, and actually listen lols. I have to admit i dont do my work when im not botherd, i dont listen when i really have to, i have my stupid arguments with the teacher but next year is a new begginning and a fresh start. So ill try make it better.



takecare, xx

4:28 AM
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ily <3 - Wednesday 211009.

Today was sooo fkn HOT ! 32 ..

__


since i have nothing to blog about ill just blog about someone i hate ! ... jks .
JUST A LIST.


Well since im phoning with you atm ==" but your too busey watching family guy ill just yeah write shit about you ...

hmm .. weell now your pissing me off :@ idk why but yeah .
stressing out too much , pmsing >_>
its okay i still love you ...
yeahh loser i do =)
so boredboredbored !
your not even talking to me now .


silence ....


you; babe what are you doing ?
me; nothing .. just msn and blogging .

- conversation finished, silence again -


you; babeeeeeee..
me;whaat ?
you; are you hungry ?
me; uhh no .
silence..
you; i love you
me; ... i love you too

you always ask me if im hungry ==" what am i a fat kid that eats like hourly ..?
&& you full use the " if you love me you will " line to piss me off >_> .
dumbarse !

well cant be botherd writting anymore so ill just shuve lyrics onto my blog looool .
yeah i know im lazy ..

♪Sideline - Marina Chello

ahahah yeah well the loser is like full singing the song now :L
sounds like a fkn werido LMAO , sorry babe but you cant sing AHAHA !
full sings like a couple of lines then starts reading normally then like turns it into a rap or something =S ahaha werido .. now his like slowly reading it :L what a lazy shit :L .

josiie loves jaymes x3 O41OO9 .

takecare, xx



5:30 AM
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schools back ! - Monday 191009

School started today ! NOOOO ! want more holidays...
Got back from mt druitt wednesday, cousin came along. Didnt go out till friday night though.
Went luna park =]] AHAHAH well it was pretty funn, untill someone had to go...ahemm..jaymes :L but its okay . stayed the night at jens LOL its like my second house :L Next day went home to get changed and stuff, done abit of our assignment then went city. At city went kae then walkd around the whole city looking fro coffee ..so tiring done so much walking and running that day .
Sunday went parra then went mimis , met up with the bf ;) . Just sat there with everyone then after a went to go eat , then home around 9:30ish. That was pretty much my weeknd and the last of my holidays before school started .

Had school today D: what a tiering day.
Sooooo sleeeepy . Started late at like 9 then finished at like 2 :D

• Geo; bludged
• science(double); bludged
• English; sooo boring and tiering , almost fell asleep just done reading . LOL teacher full made everyone get up and like shake or something cos half the class was falling asleep :L .

What a day to start school.

hmm... sometimes i dnt even know why we have these silly arguments the littlestt things just turn into somethiing else. Not that it actually means something i guess you could say were just both really stubborn, yes i admit it now and its not just me its you too. & your a bitch =]] just had to say that :D . But sometimes it gets to a point were its juat too much.

oh and have i mentiondd that i have a son now ? julz =]] :L

takecare, xx

3:10 AM
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yeah yeah - Thursday, 151009

Well not much has been going on, everythings going good ; boyfriend - its going well :) , love life - yeah its good too , aisha - well shes getting there i guess , friends - ..havent been out in agess , family - ehh... cant complain.

Its hard to get over some one you truly love and care about, its going to be okay youll get by this just remmbr that everyones heres for you .

♪this is us - backstreet boys.



takecare, xx

6:10 AM
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Just going to be quick.

Its 2:05am and so freaken bored, currently phoning with the loser boyfriend who is watching a movie at the same time >_>lols. & just talking to aisha on msn =]]
Wonder what ill be doing today..
anyways thats itt LOL :) not much butt yeah .

takecare, xx

8:06 AM
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arggghhhh !

well today was suppose to go home :@ but noooo mum didnt even come to get me. ffs, i hate when she does this. iv practically been here all holidays. what a shit holiday iv had. MY holidays are mostly over by now. ARGGGHHHH ! Gets me so frustrated.

I hate how im here down at the bush (monty county) , just stuck in a house. Cant go out, cant do anything. Im srsly getting punished here, like im in jail. Iv been here most of my holidays now..
Far i miss everyone, & my abo sisterr man D: we need to do another ceremonyy beeen ages since iv seen you .
mmm... and i miss him <3>Well it took me a while to say those 3words but i do mean it. I just never realised, in a way you could say i never wanted to belive it cos to tell you the truth im just afraid of getting hurt...again. At first i didnt even know if it was love or not. It took me some time to think about what love actually ment and well i didfigure it out what it was and thats how i feel about you.
But when i said it, made me happy cos i told him :) ..how i felt about him. It was kinda stupid how i told him though....through this little argument then eventually turned out so big. But it just came out. Would of been better if i didnt mention it during the fight but it came out. And im glad it did, you mean so much to me.

I want you to know what ever happens, what ever i say always remember that i love you.
I say stupid things when am angry and most of the time i dont mean them and just dont know what im doing cos im so mad. But no matter what i love you.

Fucking hell i hate being in this house.
Especially when your best friend is having a hard time - aisha babeee everything will be okay, i know it hurts but just hold on.

I dont get how some one can be so fucking low and do this. Just leave them, without a word nothing just leaves. You and him were a role model for me you could say lols. Showed me that even though there was distance between use two, love was all use needed and is what kept use going.

BUT NOWWW ?! wtf ?
please some one explain to me how a guy can just leave a girl, after a two year relationship. You said you loved her.. if you really loved her atleast have the guts and tell her something like it was over ..anything. But no you are that low and self fish to leave her like this. I hope one day you do go through how much pain shes going though atm cos you have no idea how much it hurts, and knowing from experiance i never wanted anyone to go through it. But srsly i do not get how self fish some one can get. And i dnt care if your reading this, i hope you are. But FUCK YOU ! okay fuckkk you and that stupid peace of shit cow fuckk. You make me sick. I dont care what you think of me but fuuck you alright. I know i shouldnt judge anyone if i dont know them but this is just low. Thats all i have to say to your ugly fking face and that bitch of yours. I cant really blame the girl cos its you too. Really how stupid can you get how can you just take someones bf, who would actually do that..? oh yeah you .. well i hope one day someone does this to you as well. Cos you have no idea how much it hurtts.
Well i know aisha will find someone better and someone that will treat her better just as much as you did.
hmm... in a way use two match you know cos well both of use are losers, fuckkking peice of shits. So that just adds up everything.

well thats itt i guess. cbb writting more shit butt yeah

takecare, xx


4:51 AM
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peeeeeew .

hmm...what to blog about ? Well everythings going good :) but right now at mt druitt, i miss him :( dont really know when im going home for sure but hopefully it will be soon.
Wonder what everyones doing today.. i miss my abo sister man !
Feel sorry for my spastic cousin cos shes always home AHAHAH ! she needs to go out LOL .

When ever someone says they love you, you stop to think if they actually mean it. Or if there just saying it ?
When you said it i stopped to think, did you really mean it ? do you actually love me ? ...or is it just something you say.. I dont know if you mean it or not but you said that you do. I just dont want someone saying that to me without a meaning cos that just makes me fall for them even more each and everytime. Dont really know what to think.

Today hmm.... i dont think im going to be doing anything today, again ! :L
but yeah maybe just do abit of kareoke LOL !
Was eating today and found out that my auntie used to model o.O yeah model...my auntie ? that is soo werid. saw a poseter of her modeling looked so sexy.. daymmmn AHAHA :L cant belive it.

LMAO tday we were talking about height and cousin was full like..

Bradley; How come your taller then charlotte when shes older than you (to me)
Charlotte; cos our dad isnt that tall (to bradley)
Me; i think my parents are tall =S
Charlotte & Karl; yeah i think that your dad is tall.
Bradley; yeah im tall too.
Karl; no your not tall your wide LOL .

AHAHAAHAHAH ! yesss very werid convo but it was really funny at that time.



takecare, xx

6:38 PM
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Happy Ending ?

Well never botherd blogging theese days. Alot has happend but in a good way :) ..finally LOL.
So last time i blogged was last week lol.

2nd & 3rd October,
On Friday and Saturday just stayed home LOL
So lazyy now :L

4th October, Sunday.
Well today was the day i made up my mind on what i wanted. Yes finally made up my mind and hope that i made the right decision on giving it another go, i feel kinda stupid in a way giving it a third go...yepp thrid. Just hope it was the right decision, dont want to get hurt again.

Well he said that he would come bring me food but i never thought that he would actually come all the way to my house, big adventure LOL . He did come and i was suprised. Talked for a while then told him my decision and how i felt.

Wasnt really planning to go out that night but we decided to go to jens (abo sister) everyone was there so yeah. Took the long journey to her house and walked all the way from mine to hers. Took about 45minss? . It was good though. Spent time with him :) .



5th October, Monday.
Slept at jens the night before. Today we went to go see kevin at parra, it was pretty good. After thatt went city..pretty bad day to go cos it was like pouring there ==" the rain was on and off.
Got Home around 10ish.

6th & 7th October,
on the 6th was suppose to go to a bbq, but couldnt go. The weather was werid that day, full kept raining and stopping.

Next day just stayed home... BOREDBOREDBORED!!!!
Got good news that day, found out when kevin was coming outt !
ITs good for jenn cos i can tell that my abo sister needs him so much ! but dw babes you dont have to wait any longerr :)

8th October, Thursdaaay.
Well what am i going to do today ? Got up at like 1ish. mmmm...hopei dont go mt druitt cos if i go i know ill end up staying there the whole holidays.
So boring there, cant even go out.
Want to convince my mum if i could just stay home or something and she'll just give me money till the day she comes back =D
what a smart thing to do LOOL . ehhh... so bored atm.
What to do ? or can i even do anything ? ahaha soo broke..



takecare, xx







8:15 PM
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PISSEDD !!! MUM WOULDNT LET ME GO OUT TODAY! THATS IT.

3:13 AM
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Long blog.

This blog is gna be long lols, havent blogged since last week and theres been alot going on lately but its been alright.

25909, Friday.
Friday night got nails done by julz :)
Man it took aggggessss ! but she was doing like 5 people so yeah, she started doing them around 5-6ish and finished around like 1ish ? LOL .

Weekend.
Saturday;
Had an alright weeknd saturday went banks really early around 9ish to change coins into notes lol. Went with tram and jenn :) . That day was childrens fest at bankss. After changeing the money we went back to change our clothes and to get ready lols. Got to childrens fest around 5ish. Was kinda boring but it was alright i guess, went on a ride; bumper cars :L but they were really fun :D after a while started to see more people and said hi and yeah. Stayed till fireworkss ahahah they were so shit and it went for like half an hour..got boring LOL .
Well after that went to a house BBQ. i man saturday night was so fkn COLD!

That night it was good sorting things out even thought at first it wasnt really going well cos not much was getting out but in the end everything came out. Walking around that park thingo was stupid but i just needed to walk to get this anger and shit out i guess...
In the end i didnt really expect much but you said you wanted to try again....
idk if i can do that cos after everything, will you do this again ? what if it just happens again ? i dont want to go through all the pain again..going in circles. But what if it does ? it doesnt have to really be the same situtaion but just something... i dnt think ill survive the pain again. Then again we both want the same thing but i just dnt know if i take that risk again.
Its good that things are patching up in a way it helps me on what im going to do next. Can i really do this again ? will it turn out better than before ? ..well i think iv got my answer. You said to atleast try...maybe i should. This has been going on for while now so maybe i can take that chance again ? lols im probley not even making sence now... but either ways im getting there.

Sunday;
Well today went mville fest, so much food there :L yeah this weeknd has all been festivals LOL well yeah went there with jen, mell & claresta :) Stayed there for a couple of hours but then went back to banks then went cabra moon fest :L
Cabra fest was good, waay better than banks one :L had better fireworks & rides.
Got home around 10ish.

28909, Monday;
Today went school, finished early. Bludged the whole day..yessss last week of school !
After school went over aisha's till 730ish then mum pickd me up .

...still thinking about it.


29909, Tuesday;
Well today all i dont was bludge..and the teachers actually segested that we can :L
But in english had this listening test thing. Sport day, played soccer lols. Wasnt that fun..not as fun as those other games we had :L
Full had to play the game and everything. Luckly they invented ipods LOL .
Last day of school xD

..think i know what to do now.

30909, Wednesday;
Well today i didnt wana go school, but stayed home lols. Its so HOT! wana go beach lols. Cant wait to go beach theese holis, but i dont want to get too dark that ill probley end up like chewbucca. Yeah anyways right now im home alone, bored.

...think iv got my mind made up now.




takecare, xx



10:50 PM
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Random Subject.

Went school today, school didnt go as slow as i thought it would of so thats good :) just had a normall boring day. Had drama today and as usuall now we dont do anything..we had to sit outside cos our teacher had to mop the PRF :L ahaha werido. So just sat outside on the field today =D .
Found out that i got a couple of tests next week D: but maybe i just wouldnt go school those days lol wouldnt be at school much next week anyways. BEACH!! LOL
Wooh second last week of school xD holidaays are coming !
This year has gone pretty fast, last year went fast as well. Lets hope so will 2010.
I had a better day today you could say, but yeah still abit moody.

• Science - BLUDGEBLUDGEBLUDGE!
• English - Done some listening task thing...
• Drama - Bludged, sat on the field :)
• PD - Went on the computers today, just answerd questions.
• Maths - Just done some sheets. Got my test back today...didnt do too well, but still passed :D

@Science: LMAO Random topic that faten brought up.
Faten; you know whats hot and turns me on ? ..When you can see guys nipples when there like wearing a singlet.
me; WTF?! AHAHHA werido
aisha; LMAOO! wth ahaha how ?

After she full explains what she means LOL you dont know what else happend, man it was a werid topic and was so random. Shes so retarted sometimes, wait what am i saying ? shes always retarted :L but thats why i love her <3

Was talking to aisha my retard about stuff today :)
She made me realise a few things that i didnt really want to belive. But it was good that she mentioned it cos its kinda true i just didnt want to belive it i guess. far this is killing me i swear im atleast near to a point on giving up...but something is stopping me ?
Been thinking alot lately and i think i'v made my decision on what im going to do.




takecare, xx



3:07 AM
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